Freedom Friday: Living Your Life When Things Fall Apart

We don’t hear much about how painful it is to go from being completely stuck to becoming unstuck. The process of becoming unstuck requires tremendous bravery, because basically we are completely changing our way of perceiving reality, like changing our DNA. We are undoing a pattern that is not just our pattern. It’s the human pattern.  This pattern keeps us dissatisfied and causes us a lot of pain and suffering. (PC)

We think our job as humans is to avoid pain and suffering, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain and suffering, and our job as friends is to fix each other’s pain and suffering. Maybe that’s why we all feel like failures so often – because we all have the wrong job description for love.  People who are hurting don’t need Avoiders, Protectors, or Fixers.  What we need are patient, loving witnesses.  People to sit quietly and hold space for us.  People to stand in helpless vigil to our pain. (GDM)

Heartache is not something we choose to invite in. It’s restless and pregnant and hot with the desire to escape and find something or someone to keep us company.   The journey of the warrior is staying present with love and pain. Feeling them both, letting them bubble up in your body and come and go without hitting an easy button to escape; without overeating or boozing or shopping or sexing or snarking or scrolling your way off your yoga or meditation mat. (GDM)

The journey of the warrior is to sit with your pain, your suffering, your broken heartedness, your restlessness, for 1.6 seconds; when yesterday you couldn’t sit for even one second. That’s the work that we must do when we are experiencing pain and suffering and living and working with a broken heart. That is the journey of the warrior. (PC)

Wishing you peace and wellbeing as you hold hands without checking to see who’s hand you’re holding and march forward, together; recognizing that we can do hard things because we belong to each other.

PS: Remember to hold the ones you love just a little closer and tighter this week (without expectations).

The material for this article came from Glennon Doyle Melton (GDM), the author of Love Warrior; and Pema Chodron (PC), the author of When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times.

Hitting Rock Bottom To Finding Yourself: http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/glennon-doyle-melton-how-to-heal-after-youve-been-betrayed; Momastery blog: http://momastery.com/blog/

Six kinds of Loneliness: https://www.lionsroar.com/six-kinds-of-loneliness/

(image description: a red heart with the word on the right side of the heart that says, the journey is what brings us happiness, not the destination)